| Location | Ridgecrest |
| Age | 0 |
| Cause of Death | Miscarriage |
| Date of Birth | 16/08/2005 |
| Date of Death | 26/12/2004 |
| Visitors | 154 since 16/06/2009 |
| Creator |
*THE DAY WE LOST ARE SWEET PRECIOUS LIL ANGEL*
IT ALL STARTED WITH ME HAVING SOME PAIN IN MY STOMACH & NOT FEELING SO WELL. SO WE WENT IN TO THE
HOSPITAL TO SEE WHAT WAS GOING ON, THEY CHECKED ME & DID SOME BLOOD WORK. THATS WHEN THEY TOLD US
THAT I WAS PREGNANT WITH YOU. WE WHERE SO HAPPY & PLEASED TO HEAR THAT WE WERE GOING TOO BE
EXPECTING AGAIN. I JUST HAD THIS BIG SMILE, YOUR DADDY WAS JUST FULL OF SMILES FROM EAR TO EAR. I
NEVER SAW HIM LIKE THAT, WE HUGED & TOLD THE DOCTOR THANK YOU FOR THE GREAT NEWS. WE LEFT JUST BEING
SO HAPPY, WITH FULL OF SMILES & WONDERFULL THOUGHTS RUNNING THROUGH ARE HEADS, WE JUST COULDN'T WAIT
ANY MORE TO TELL OUR FAMILY. SO WE WENT HOME, CALLED ALL YOUR AUNTYS, UNCLES, COUSIN & GRANPARENTS;
TOLD THEM ALL THE GREAT NEWS. BUT MOST OF ALL WE COULDN'T WAIT TIL WE TOLD YOUR 2 SISTERS THE GOOD
NEWS EITHER. WE SAT THEM DOWN & TOLD THEM BOTH THAT THERE WHERE GOING TOO BE BIG SISTERS, THEY WERE
SO HAPPY, THEY HUGED & PUT THEIR LITTLE HANDS ON MY BELLY & SAID THAT THEY LOVED YOU SO MUCH &
COULDN'T WAIT TIL THE DAY THEY MEET YOU.
THE DAYS & NIGHTS WENT ON, TIL THIS VERY UP SETTING DAY CAME DEC.27th,2004. THE DAY GOD CALLED YOU
UP TOO HEAVEN TOO BE WITH HIM. YOUR DADDY & I WERE SO HURT & UPSET & VERY CONFUSED OF WHAT HAD
HAPPEND & THOUGHT WHAT WENT WRONG. WE CALLED YOUR GRANDMOTHER WHO WENT WITH US TO THE HOSPITAL. SO
THAT WE COULD HAVE A BETTER UNDERSTANDING & FOR HER TO BE WITH US FOR SUPPORT. WE WENT IN & THY SAID
THAT, YES YOU LOST YOUR BABY & I'M SORRY FOR YOUR LOST. WE LEFT WITH HOLES IN HEARTS. BUT WITH
MEMORIES IN OUR HEARTS THAT WE HAD WITH YOU & WILL ALWAYS BE CARRYED WITH US FROM NOW UNTIL THE END
OF TIME.
*MY SWEET PRECIOUS LIL ANGEL*
WE WILL MEET AGAIN & FLY HIGH WITH THE ANGELS & BE TOGETHER AS A FAMILY.
WE WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU & CARRY YOU IN OUR HEARTS.
"LOVE YOUR MOMMY, DADDY & YOUR SIBBLINGS"
TODAY IS THE DAY
I hang my head and pray
For today is the day.
And not in a happy way.
I let the tears slide
And decide not to hide.
For today is the day
You left my life.
My heart breaks
At the thought of you.
I think of you everyday
Wishing you were here to play
I hang my head and pray
That you are ok.
For today is the day
And not in a good way.
I let the tears slide
And decide not to hide.
For today is the day
That you died.
My heart breaks
For you my unborn child
My heart breaks
You did not survive.
So I hang my head and pray
For today is the day.
ANGEL IN HEAVEN ABOVE
Words do not exist to describe the deep,
dark emptiness and pain
Nights are the worst and the hours burn on –
what do I have to gain
Days and months pass but the hole in my heart
only seems to grow
Empty promises it will get better from those who forget –
they cannot know
To look for her in everything – the clouds, sky,
dark night, flickering light
Begging for just a glimpse of her in my dreams –
just a quick sight
Hurt so deep I feel I cannot breathe – sometimes I can’t face the next hour or day
There when I lay down, there when I open my eyes –
it never goes away
Wishes it was a nightmare as it seems doesn’t help and
I remain so stuck
Not knowing how to move on the tears are endless – surrounded by the worst luck
Wanting freedom to move on but unable to
I am so weighted down
Outside I have to push to smile and seem happy, but on the inside remains the heavy frown
Looking everywhere I know for some glimmer of hope –
where is that open door
Bigger, better things foreshadowed don’t arrive, and I feel I cannot get off the floor
Knowing my angel is in a much better place
should make it a little ok
But my selfish longing to hold her and love her
seems to only grow each day
People forget or do not care and
nobody can ever feel or know
I am so alone with the hurt and loss
but I cannot let it show
To talk to others only leaves me more
alone, angry and sad
Nobody says the right things, nobody
shared the bond that we had
For only my angel and I were together
for such a short time here
And now I must wait to get to heaven to meet and see her
yet I know she is near
Presence so strong only I could feel
the nights I have cried
Looking around so intently she talks to me and
for a moment she has not died
Reality so cold that it
seems completely untrue
Asking why and thinking back to my every move –
what did I do
The beautiful box that holds her remains is what I
cling to on the rocking chair
Coddling my empty arms imagining holding her
but she is not there
Not for me to see, feel and love
as I so long to do
All the plans were being made, big hopes and dreams
for someone precious and new
The day the light shined on my face as I said goodbye
to her and opened my eyes
Light we all felt God through reassuring and hopeful
but frequent are my cries
Tears of emptiness and loss nobody can change –
how do I move on
Words from blessed Jacob wishing for a baby sister crush me –
I cannot be strong
Praying and talking to her at night under the
dark sky I look to heaven above
Asking why, sorry for my failures and
overwhelmed with ungiven love
Love I cannot show her like I so had hoped to do in her little life – my baby
Words I said when Jacob arrived – will I have another one –
only maybe
Because of fear and doubts of a relationship seemingly severed –
I grieve alone
Longing for support and seemingly receiving none
the pain is all I seem to own
Endless, sleepless nights wear on me the patience is gone
then guilt moves in
Taking over and driving the circle of thoughts –
I cannot win
Goodnight my angel, Mama loves you so –
you are forever in my heart
I am here and you are happy in heaven with God –
but it hurts Mama being apart
Always know I miss you each day and I will
always love you so much
You are still my baby – I send you kisses and hugs in heaven – until we can touch
All My Love Always~
Mommy & Daddy
FOR MY LIL ANGEL
Never
I'll never get to see your precious face;
or whisper words to make you feel safe
I'll never get to hold you tight
when you can't sleep at night
I'll never get to sing to you a sweet lullaby,
to calm you down when you cry
I'll never get to fall asleep withyou in my arms,
all bundled in a blanket to keep you warm
I'll never get to hear you laugh and giggle
or see you little toes wiggle
There are many things I will never get to do,
but the hardest is not being with you.
LUV ALWAYS & FOR EVER MOMMMY & DADDY
Your Little Angel
Forever will I love you
You will always be my mom
As I sit with angels I look down at you and point proudly
See . . .See her . . .over there, That's her!
Did you know I could hear your thoughts at night
When you used to lie in bed staring, rubbing your hand on your belly
Looking up at the ceiling in the dark wondering things . . .
Who I would look more like . . .
About how my laugh would sound . . .
My First steps . . .
Books that you would read to me . . ones with pictures . . .
"I like Those!"
The park . . .how you would walk me in a stroller to play on the swings
How about after I ate ice cream the dog excitedly licking my
face almost knocking me down . . .
You just smiled when you read that . . I could see you
Do you know I call you "mommy"?
When you are in the kitchen I pretend I am there also and you can see me
I sit at the table and draw with crayons
I made a picture for the refrigerator
Yellow, blue, red and green
Look its of you and me with a sky and trees
I gave you curly hair . . .
Easter . . .that's my favorite
I always think of you holding my hand taking me to church
One of my socks keeps falling down
Mommy . . .I like the way you kiss my sisters goodnight
on the forehead and tuck them in
I play with them in their dreams
They don't know me but if you ask if they ever
dreamed of playing with a little girl
they would say yes . . .
That's me . . .
Do you remember that bird each early spring
that used to always return and sing
It would have been right around the time of my birthday
That was me to . . .
I would sing "I love you"
I am always along side you . . .
Sometimes you can feel me
A brush against your dress, a breeze on your face . . .
that's when I kiss you
You have always kept me in your mind and heart
Thank you . . .
One day we will be together in heaven and you will cry
and lift me in your arms and I will hug
you so very tight and never let go . . .
But for now I have to . . .
No matter where you go, what you do, I am with you
Always know that I am "Your Little Angel"
I love you mommy . . .
Bye . . .
________________________
"Your Little Angel"
An Angel Never Dies - Author Unknown
Don’t let them say I wasn’t born,
But something stopped my heart
I felt each tender squeeze you gave,
I loved you from the start.
Although my body you can’t hold,
It doesn’t mean I’m gone,
This world was worthy not of me,
God chose that I move on.
I know the pain that drowns your soul,
What you are forced to face.
You have my word, I’ll fill your arms,
Some day we will embrace.
You’ll hear “that it was meant to be”
God doesn’t make mistakes,
But that won’t soften your worst blow,
Or make your heart not ache.
I’m watching over all you do,
Another child you’ll bear,
Believe me when I say to you,
That I am always there.
There will come a time, I promise you,
When you will hold my hand,
Stroke my face, and kiss my lips,
And you’ll understand.
Although I never breathed your air,
Or gazed into your eyes,
That doesn’t mean I never “was”
An Angel never dies.
With love from your precious Angel xxxxxx
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